Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
