Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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