he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
