I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
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