She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So gin and wine won't be happening again
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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