It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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