with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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