buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
