He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
