If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
