Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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