He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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