apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
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My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
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Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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