By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
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