yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
