Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
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Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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