Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
