When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Randomize