Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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