He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
