if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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