If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
