I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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