is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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