a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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