I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Everything about him screamed your future.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
