I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
