id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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