It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
