She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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