CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
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10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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