Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
