I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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