i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
