I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
