i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
