im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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