The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize