Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
