Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
