what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
