Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
third nipple confirmed
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
