South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
