my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
