Kareoke will never be a sober sport
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
