I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
