the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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