We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
