Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
