As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
