ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
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I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize