Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
