lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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