You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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