They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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