i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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