ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
