No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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