I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
