What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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