Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
