evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
organizing the empties. That sober.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
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