So gin and wine won't be happening again
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
