im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
