The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
