no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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