WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Randomize
