She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
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