Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
